


Please stay with me

by LarryIsMyJam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 08:45:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarryIsMyJam/pseuds/LarryIsMyJam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One night everything changed for Louis. But can he handle it or will he give everything up?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please stay with me

**Author's Note:**

> Summary: 
> 
> One night everything changed for Louis. But can he handle it or will he give everything up?
> 
> OMG so this isn't my first fanfiction ever, but it's my first larry fanfiction. I hope you love it. BTW if you don't want to get depressive don't read it, I made the co-owner of this account cry.
> 
> I dedicate this BTW to my bestfriend Zoë. She brought me in this fandom, thank you.

__

He looked peaceful in there, in his coffin. Eyes closed, hands on top of each other and if you looked close enough you could see that his lips were slightly curved. You could see the make up on his face, trying to hide his pale face. Under his lipstick painted lips his lips were probably already blue. The glow that he always had around him was gone, just like his life. Just gone... I could still imagine the shot, then the screaming and the endless blood, oh so endless.

_The fans were screaming really hard. We were singing the song "They Don't Know About Us" and I couldn't help myself, but look at Harry while singing it. He looked so happy, standing here on stage and doing his favorite thing. When he was happy he looked the most beautiful. His appearance made me forget all the things around me and the only thing I heard was his voice and not the screaming of the fans. His voice sounded like an angel was singing and it was the most beautiful thing ever. But it wasn't only his voice. His eyes were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. You could drown yourself in them and never surface again and it would be perfectly fine with me. And his body... that was a nice thing too. No that was an understatement, it was hot and sexy and I just didn't have enough words for it. How he moved his body to the rhythm of the music, it wanted me to drag him of the stage and go to the nearest closet and do wonderful and forbidden things to him. Great, now I was trying to watch him without getting a hard on, ON STAGE. Suddenly Harry turned his head and looked at me. He smiled that smile that was only and only for me and walked towards me. I smiled back and began to grow nervous. It was time.... time to tell everyone about us. We had planned to do it this concert for about a month now. Back then, I wasn't that nervous about the concert, but as it came closer my nerves began to play up. We planned to say it after the song They don't know about us because it was just fitting you know, only the opposite was happening now, they would know about us in a few seconds, because the song was at it's ending. # Baby they don't know about, they don't know about us. They don't know about us. #. There was a shot and then screaming, but I didn't hear that, I heard nothing but a buzzing sound in my ears. My eyes were focused on Harry and I saw his knees buckling forwards, falling on his hands and knees. I stood there in shock not really believing what was happening to only be pulled out of my trance by Harry making a groaning sound. He tried to stand up with much force and he succeeded. I looked down to his shirt and saw a big red spot on his shirt nearby his heart that was spreading quickly. He followed my eyes and saw it too, looking up at me with big eyes, asking for help. I ran towards him and the moment I stood before him he let himself fall in my arms, buckling through his knees. I let myself slowly sink to the floor, pulling Harry with me. When I was sitting on the floor, I placed my two hands on his shoulders, pushing him carefully to the ground and pulling his head on my lap. Harry looked up at me with fear in his eyes. I took a fast glance at his wound and saw that it was only getting worse. It was just a matter of time or..... no you can't think like that Louis, the wound just looked bad, but it wasn't. We just needed help and we needed it fast. That was when the thought came in my mind to call 911. I was about to scream to somebody to get help, but saw that everyone was already moving, running and calling. I looked behind me and saw the boys standing behind me, looking with dread in their eyes. Hearing a whimper, I turned my head back around to see Harry clutching at his chest._

_'Don't', I whispered at him, taking his hands from his chest and instead pressing my own hands at his wound trying to suppress his blood from pouring out of his wound._

_'It hurts so much Lou,' he whispered._

_'It will get better,' I said forcing myself to believe this, although I saw the blood seeping through my fingers. I took my shirt off to replace it with my hands, hoping that the shirt would stop the bleeding, but it didn't work. My blue striped shirt soon turned red. My fear took me over and tears began rolling down my cheeks, dripping on Harry's lips. I saw paramedics running towards us and moved out of the way to let them get to Harry._

_'No Lou, please stay with me,' he whispered in panic._

_'I have to Haz, they will make you better and then we will see each other again.' I said trying to convince Harry and myself. But while I was looking in his eyes, we both knew that he wasn't going to make it. But no Lou... he_ _**was** _ _going to make it and then you would see him again and he would be all better._

_'No Lou, I don't want to die alone, please stay with me.' he said crying now._

_'I'm sorry,' I said as the paramedics lie him on a bran card taking him to the ambulance. 'I love you' I whispered, but he didn't hear it anymore , the tears now flooding freely over my cheeks. 'I'm so sorry.'_

I had the feeling that I had to cry, but no tears came. I had cried too many times to have any tears left. I could remember how I arrived at the hospital a few minutes after the ambulance came, to only hear that he died in the ambulance. 

_I sat in the car in the passengers seat. They wouldn't let me drive, so now the driver was driving. I sat here in car with the boys, who were all shocked. But I was just frustrated, the driver was driving slow._

_'Can you please speed up a bit,' I said frustrated, I had already said it many times, but he didn't listen. I began to grow more frustrated than I already was. The last moments with Harry couldn't seem to get out of my head. They just repeated over and over again, never stopping. Over and over again I saw the pleading, horrified look Harry gave me and I heard his last words again and again: **'Please stay with me.'** Nearly crying again I looked out of the car window, trying to distract myself. He would survive it, he just had to. I looked out of the car and street lights passed by in a blur. Trying to think of something else than Harry being dead, I thought of the vacation we had planned. We were going to a beautiful vacation house that Harry's family owned in a forest in England. We wouldn't be out of the country, but we would have some alone time and privacy. Suddenly the car stopped and I looked through the window to see that the car was parked at the hospital. The moment I saw that, I rushed out of the car and sped up to the hospital doors. I was running to the reception to only be stopped by a hand grabbing my right shoulder. Turning around I looked into the eyes of a doctor and by his look I knew it. Harry was gone....._

I can remember that deep within my heart I knew that he was dead, but I still hoped he lived and that I had just misread the look. But when I heard the next words of the doctor that hope was also taken from me, just like Harry was.

_'I'm sorry mister Tomlinson, but Harry passed away, while being in the ambulance. I'm sorry for your loss.'_

_'Can I see him?' I asked, wanting to see if it was true for myself, while I knew that the hope was gone. The doctor just nodded and led me to a room. He opened the door and I walked past him, my eyes looking everywhere but at the bed where Harry was lying....._ _**dead** _ _. The doctor walked out of the room and let me alone with Harry. I stood there, just staring down at the floor. I didn't know how many minutes had past before I finally looked up. And that was the moment I wished I hadn't looked up, but had stayed looking down forever. When I saw Harry lying there, lifeless... I just stood there. I let myself fall to the floor, but no tears came. Questions were repeating in my head over and over again. How could this happen? How could Harry be dead? Why would anybody do this? We were no fuckin' Beatles and Harry was no fuckin' John Lennon._

_And that was the moment I started to get angry. I screamed screams of anger, clenching my fist and hitting the floor. We were going to be happy, we were going to tell everyone about us and be happy. We were supposed to go to the hotel after the concert, together, holding hands and nobody could stop us, because everyone knew about us by then. No more hiding. But that all was taken from me by one person. One fucking person, ruined everything and took away my love. And that person... that person would suffer for this, he would regret this by paying with his life._

_I heard the door open and people rushing in, feeling arms wrap around me. 'Calm down Louis. We understand.' I heard Liam whispering. But they didn't, they didn't understand. Nobody could, my other half died and with that also the other half of me and it would never come back. It was all replaced with anger and it could only be stilled with revenge._

_I stopped with screaming and hitting the floor and Liam let me go. He stuck his hand out and I grabbed it, pulling me on my feet. Without looking back at Harry, I walked away, looking at nobody and staring straightforward. I would get my revenge...._

It was funny how it all changed.

_The boys and I were at the police station to see the murderer of Harry. I had been waiting for this, when I had the chance I would kill that son of a bitch. We walked with a police officer through a door and were in a room. There was a window where we could see the murderer through, but the murderer couldn't, because on the other side there was a mirror. When I looked through the window I was surprised. I suspected it to be a man, not a girl who also looked young._ ' _Did she kill him?_ '  _I asked._

_'Yes Mr. Tomlinson' the police officer said as we both looked through the window.  But it looked like she knew it wasn't a mirror, because she looked me straight in the eyes with a sick smile._

_'What's her name?'_

_'Melissa.'_

_Melissa started talking and my image of her started to change soon.. 'Talking about me guys? I know, I'm interesting.' She looked at her manicured hands and spoke further. 'I had planned it well, you know.. the murder. Harry annoyed me just so much. I don't know why, but it was like he wanted to be shot.' My teeth started to grind. 'I dreamed about it, you know, killing him. How the blood would pour out of his body and how he would slowly die.' My hands started to clench and I imagined how I would grab her by her throat and suffocate her. 'When I stood there with the gun in my hand, it just felt so good. And the best was when I pulled the trigger. No scrap that, it was when Harry fell to the ground.' That was the last drop. I took a leap towards the door to her and pulled it open. I grabbed her by her throat and suffocated her. I saw her face turning white, but she had still that wicked smile on her face. I felt arms wrap around me and pulling me away from her._

_'No let me go, she has to die.' I screamed  trying to fight the person who was holding me. I was being pulled away from her and saw that the boys took me to another room. Niall who had been holding me the whole time let me go. I took another leap for the door, but Zayn quickly stood before it._

_'Let me through, Zayn.' I demanded._

_'No, it won't solve anything.' Zayn said._

_'It will, she will pay for Harry's dead with her own life.' I said. When Zayn didn't take a step away from the door, I started pushing him away from the door. Still standing his ground I punched him in the face, his nose bleeding directly. Because of this short distraction I could get to the door, but before I could get away, Liam tackled me to the floor._

_'Let me fucking go Liam, I need to kill that bitch.' I screamed at him and started moving under him, trying to get away under him. Niall saw that and hold me down. Now I was punching around me. I felt my fist hitting another face and looking to see who I hit, I saw Niall having a bleeding lip._

_'Stop, he won't come back with killing her.' Liam whispered in my ear._

_'But his dead will be justified.' I said back._

_'He's dead Louis.'_

_'No.' I sobbed._

_'Louis-'_

_'No, don't talk... I know okay, I know that he's dead. He won't come back. He'll be buried under the ground over two days. Then he will rotten and worms will eat him and he will be nothing more than a skeleton. And then slowly everyone will forget him but I..... I...' that was the moment I broke down. I screamed and tears flowed down my face. Niall still held me and the other two boys came to me to hold me too. After 10 minutes my cries stilled and I just stared lifelessy ahead from me. After thinking for minutes, I started to talk again. 'I won't kill her...' After a pause I talked further. 'She has to suffer in jail. If I murder her, she will die and that is an too easy punishment. She's not worth my revenge for Harry.'_

_'Louis..' Liam started, but I would never know what he wanted to say, because I stood on my feet again and walked away. When walking to the exit, I saw Melissa standing in the corridor. We looked at each other straight in the eyes and when I passed her by she smirked one of her malicious smirks and stuck out her tongue. I looked away from her and looked straightforward. She was not worth it, she was not worth my revenge for Harry._

I heard she is in a clinic establishment, she had some disorder, which I couldn't remember the name of. In a sort of way I was satisfied, because she is going to a place which is worse than jail, you have less freedom there and you have to think about yourself and slowly become even crazier then you already were. But I would never forgive her and forget what she had done. And my feeling of revenge would never go away. But I knew Harry wouldn't want me to kill her and maybe that was more important. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Anne. Her eyes were puffy and red. She looked tired just as me. Tired of crying. 

'It's time.' she said softly. I smiled sadly and she smiled back. We turned around to walk to the front row and I wrapped my arms around her waist. The previous days we were constantly around each other. We took care of everything for the funeral. Some people offered to do the planning, but we wanted to do that, it was the last thing that we could do for Harry. I went to sit on my chair. To my right I saw Anne and next to her sat Gemma. She also looked worn out, no wonder, she had just lost her brother. She smiled to me when our eyes reached each other, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes were empty just like mine. To my left were the boys. Everyone was talking, but not us. We were silent. A hand touched my shoulder. I looked behind me and saw my mom sitting there. She smiled reassuringly at me and I smiled back. The priest went up on the stage and everyone went silent. 

'Today we are gathered to mourn over the dead of Harry Styles. Harry Styles, beloved son, brother and friend.' the priest started. Even when Harry was dead, management still not wanted to truth of Harry and me to be out. I felt a hand squeeze my left shoulder and looked to my left to see Liam smiling reassuringly to me. I smiled back and looked forward again. The priest was telling something, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was thinking of all the things that had happened the past days. Five days ago Harry was killed and now he was going to be buried. But between those days a lot had happened and I had drunken a lot the first two days. It was after those two days that I finally didn't think of myself but of what Harry would have wanted.

_I felt a headache, a really painful headache, from all what I had drunken the past two days. I had woken up on the ground and didn't know how I had gotten there. I heard loud banging on the door, but I ignored it and went to the kitchen for more alcohol. The banging  made my headache a lot worse and the only thing helping would be alcohol. There wasn't really something to drink anymore I saw, when looking in the kitchen cabinet, I had probably drunken a lot and when looking around me I knew I was right. Everywhere were standing bottles and some were also broken and glass pieces lied everywhere on the ground. Looking down at my feet, I saw they were bare and that I had deep cuts in it. But not really caring I reached for the vodka that was the only thing remaining in the cabinet. The banging got louder, but I still ignored it. I moved back to the living room and lied down on the couch. I looked around and everywhere were memories of Harry and me, especially in our bedroom. That was also why I hadn't come in our bedroom, there were too many memories. Tears slipped from my eyes. I was so tired of crying and I didn't want to, so before the memories could get really back in my mind I started drinking. I drank and the vodka burned down my throat and slowly my senses were beginning to blur and the memories faded away, like a dream that you couldn't remember. My eyes closed and I let myself take away to a place that was anything but reality. I heard the door open, but was so far away that I couldn't really react on it. I heard footsteps coming closer and closer to me and now touching my face._

_'Louis?' it was a woman who talked. I couldn't came out my daze to react, but I also didn't want to. I liked this feeling of not feeling. She sighed and I heard her walk away what I thought was to the kitchen. Then I heard a gasp and after that I heard her move again, picking up bottles and I think throwing them in the bin. She moved again to the living room and was standing next to me. Then she cried. I could feel the tears fall on my face. I finally came out of my daze and looked up. I saw Anne and she looked broken, just as I was. But she wasn't looking at me but at something behind the couch. I looked at where she was looking and saw her looking at a picture of Harry and me._

_'He really loves you, you know?' she said while there came a smile on her face. 'I can remember when he told me that he was in love with you. He was so scared and thought that you wouldn't love him back, because he was a boy.' she paused looking down at me. I moved into a sitting position and she sat next to me on the couch. 'I knew that you loved him back. I could see it in your eyes, they were full of love. But he of course didn't want to believe me. But then one day he came to me again and said that I was right. You loved him back. You had to see his smile, he was so happy and you could feel his happiness radiating from him.' she laughed to herself. 'When Harry took you home with him when you already was his boyfriend, I wanted to scare you. I had already of course seen you, but now you were his boyfriend and that was a whole other thing. Because I knew that you could hurt Harry. But when you walked in our house with Harry and you acted all shy around us, I melted. Because I could see how you looked at him, full of love, I could see how you wanted to protect him from every harm in the world.'_

_'But I failed, didn't I?' I asked looking at Anne, trying to hold back the tears. Anne looked at me in disbelief and then hugged me tight._

_'Don't ever think it was your fault Louis. Ever. You couldn't do anything.' she said and then I cried, not knowing where the tears came from. She hugged me tighter and we stood there  like that for a while. She then pulled away from me and looked me in the eyes._

' _He loves... loved you, Louis.'  she said and then picks up the vodka bottle. ' And this' she points at the bottle ' he didn't want to happen. He doesn't want you to drink till you drop dead. He doesn't want you to stop living because he isn't here anymore. So please promise me that you stop with this and keep yourself alive?'_

_'I promise' I answered. 'We are going to plan the funeral together and end this well for Harry.' But somewhere back in my mind I wasn't sure if I could keep my promise._

I woke up from my memory by the priest calling my name. 'Louis Tomlinson is now going to give us a speech.'

After hearing this, I stood up and walked over to where the microphone was. When standing there I looked at everyone before speaking.

'Harry.... Harry was a....' I began to tear up and let out a sob and began to cry. The boys quickly stood up and stood next to me, supporting me, wrapping their arms around me. I smiled to them in thank and willed myself to continue. 'I don't have enough words to describe him, because non would be good enough. The day of the X-factor auditions, we walked past each other and I immediately saw him and weird enough he saw me. We looked each other in the eyes that moment and I for some weird reason knew from that moment that he would always be in my life. And it  happened. We were placed in a group together. And every second we would become closer and closer. And at some point.... I fell in love with him.' I paused and looked into the crowd to see everyone's reactions. Some were not suprised but the most were shocked. I looked over to where the employees of Modest were sitting and saw their expressions. They were angry and shocked and just pissed and it pleased me. Finally I would tell everything and everyone would know. The dream of Harry would come true, the dream of being free. 'When I realized I was in love with him, I wanted to forget it as soon as I had realized it, because why would Harry like me back. And it would only complicate our friendship. But I didn't forget, you can't stop love when it's started.' I stopped, not knowing how to continue further. Looking next to me the boys smiled encourgingly. Then I knew it. 'Harry had a wish, a wish to be free. And we wanted to make that wish come true that night at the concert, before he was stopped. So know I'm going to make it come true by telling the truth and be free from all the lies. So when Harry is buried, he's free  from all the lies. And the truth is that Harry loved me back. And we were together and had been for 3 years. The most beautiful 3 years of my life and I don't regret a second of it, even if it was also one of the hardest years. I love you, Harry.' I took a step away from the microphone and walked back to my seat. Anne and Gemma were crying know and when I looked back to were the management was seated they were whispering and on their phones. Anne grabbed my hand.

'This is what Harry wanted, everyone knowing the truth, being free. You granted his last wish.' she said with tears in her eyes.

The priest proceeded talking. More people gave speeches, but I didn't listen, everything went by in a blur.

Anne grabbed my hand and I looked beside me. 'It's time.' I now noticed that everyone except the family and close friends were gone. The boys stood and walked to the coffin. They said some things, but I didn't really pay attention. Just a few more minutes and then the coffin would be closed. Harry wouldn't be exposed anymore to the world. The boys walked away to wait with the other people outside, to walk to the grave. Anne, Gemma and I remained seated. We didn't really have the energy to stand up, because we knew we would have to say our final goodbyes then.

After a few minutes silence I stood up and walked to the coffin. I looked down at Harry and touched his face softly. He felt so cold. I bowed down and kissed his lips a final time, memorizing every feeling and saving it forever in my heart. A tear slipped out of my eye and fell down on his lips. I took a step back and Gemma and Anne walked forward to say their final goodbyes. We walked together to the other people outside and stood in front of the queue of people, to walk to the grave.

The walk to the grave was silent, nobody talking. At least I thought so, because I wasn't really paying attention to any of that. I was just looking straightforward, trying to shut everything around me outside, because I couldn't hold anymore emotions.

At what seemed an endless walk, we arrived at the grave. The priest held another speech. Then the time had come and Harry was lifted into the ground. The priest held another speech and he looked at me. I walked forward and grabbed sand. I walked to the hole and wanted to let the sand fall on the coffin, but I hesitated. Soon he would be buried under the ground and everyone's  life would go on. But could my life go on? Could I live without Harry? And then I realized that I couldn't. A life without Harry would be a life without happiness. A life waiting for the death, waiting to finally see him again. And then I had made my decision. See you soon Hazza.

*****

I was home. After the coffin was buried I immediately went home, after saying my goodbyes to Anne, Gemma, the boys and my family. I went to the bathroom and grabbed what I needed. Then I walked to Harry and my bedroom and sat on the bed. I let my hand slid in my pocket and grabbed a little box out of it.

' _Louis' Anne called me._

_'Yeah?' I asked. We were at Harry and my home. She just went to the hospital to retrieve Harry's personal stuff. She just had come back. I didn't want to go with her. I couldn't handle it. There was where I first saw Harry dead, lifeless. And that place just brought back all those memories, I didn't want to remember._

_'I have Harry's stuff. He didn't have much with him. Actually only his phone and-and this.' She said. I looked at Anne and saw that she was on the edge of crying. She had something in her hands and gave it to me, a little box. When I looked at what it was, I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be that right? Right?! It couldn't be that that night Harry had wanted to-. NO. But when I opened the little box, it was what I feared. It was a simple black ring, an engagement ring._

_'It's unfair you know. Harry wanted to start a future with me, get married. But one person just snaps that away from us. It was already hard, our relationship, with management trying to hide us. That night we wanted to confess, to the whole world, so that we could be together. I already imagined everything. Walking together holding hands, shopping together, just looking at each other openly without being berated by management. But the second I imagined it, Harry was murdered, taken from me. And now I also discover that he wanted to marry me.' I said and then I cried, I cried straight for two hours. And Anne cried with me._

I opened the box and got the ring out of it. I slid it around my ring finger. 'I would've said yes Harry.' I whispered. I looked down at what I had grabbed from the bathroom. A bottle of pills. With shaking hands I pulled the lid of the bottle. I took ten pills out of it and swallowed them. I lied down on the bed and waited. 'Soon I will  **stay with you forever.** '

 

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**Author's Note:**

> Please vote and reviews are appreciated. Every feedback helps to get better. XX Sarah


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